Throughout 2009

          Happy 2010!!!!

          A little too late? Well,since 2009 has already ended,I'm gonna share with you all how was my 2009 like! It's just a simple summary of it.

         2009 is the year I'm studying my form6 in MBS. I was working as a part time tuition teacher too.

       January

       Let's start off with 1.1.09

       My family and I had a BBQ overnight at Teluk Bahang!

We celebrated my mom's birthday too! :P

 It's my mom's birthday on the 1st of Jan

We all had a great time!

Then,it was Chinese New Year!

I hung out with my friends at Kek Lok Si too!

11.1.2009, was my first day I got my Shih Tzu home. His name is Snoopy! He's so cute and I love him very much! :P Of course I still love Smarties too!

 Yup,it's his habit to show his tongue.

          February

          Then,it was 11.02.2009,we had a farewell for Sheen,my cousin as she is going to Australia for 10 months.

We were having karaoke session at the Penang Swimming Club.

            March

           Then it's 14.3.2009,me and my friends in school joined a I-don't-know-why-we-joined-it activity called Relay For Life. We had to overnight at Youth Park for I-don't-know-what-reason. We hung out all places too. Haha.

Middle of the night till sunrise

Then it was 28.3.2009 where my school was having Sukan Saringan.

At night,I hung out with my friends at Sri Sayang. They were having apartment stay there. It was the Earth Hour from 8.30 to 9.30pm. We switch off all the electricity in the room.

We were having steamboat there.

          April

         2.4.2009 was the day I finally passed my driving test. After failing two times of Undang and 1 time of driving test,I officially get my driving license (P) on the 2nd of April! Woohoo!!! (no picture of this lol)

Then it was 10.4.2009. My friends were having apartment stay again at Sri Sayang.

At night, I had BBQ at my uncle's house to celebrate birthdays for April babies lol.

        May
        16.02.2009  For the very first time in my life,I had a terrible car accident. I bang on someone's car while I was driving my uncle's car. It was a horrible nightmare for me. Thank God I wasn't injured and I didn't injured anyone. No photos for this as well as I don't have the pictures of the damaged car. The car was badly damaged. It costed Rm4975 to repair my uncle car. I felt so guilty.

        29.05.2009 Teachers day!!!

          Jun

         1.6.2009 Me and my Phor Tay friends had a reunion at House Of Steamboat.

Great to be with them. Did a few catch ups with them.

     3.06.2009 Celebrated birthday for Joachim at Kelvin's house

         11.6.2009 to 12.6.2009 My school organised a trip to KL! (Sorry the photos are not arranged)

        We visited KLCC,the parliament,chocolate factory,and 8TV studio...

        24.06.2009 was my dad's birthday!

We just had a simple birthday for with with a cake and durians. Haha.

       30.06.2009 was the first day I play bowling ever. Me and my friends played bowling at Penang Bowl.

         July

        05.07.2009 My family and I had a dinner at Starview. We celebrated for my uncle(Mus)'s birthday.

        We had a great time. Mus passed away on 7th of Jan 2010. Rest in peace Mus. We miss you.

Gone too soon....

Feel great to have you as our family member in our big family.

        11,12,19.7.2009 Fishing with my family!

         It's been a long time since I follow my family go fishing! 10 years + maybe!

  
          August
         26.08.2009 Celebrated birthday for my friend Penny at Island Red Cafe.

         I'd like to share with you all,please don't go to Island Red Cafe,as the service and food is bad.

24.08.2009  Econs club farewell at Xuan Xin (Steamboat)

         September

        6.09.2009 Well,it wasn't my birthday yet but my mom bought me a birthday cake for me to celebrate my birthday with my family during the Sunday Family Dinner.

             10.09.2009 It was my birthday! My classmate in school celebrated birthday for me! Thousand thank yous to them! Wow! I was really touched! I really had a great time!

I miss them...

              At night,my friends celebrated birthday for me at Bed.

        12.09.2009 I hung out at Gurney Plaza with my Phor Tay friends again.

        November
       1.11.2009 We celebrated Jia Yun's birthday one day earlier for her. We planned to gave her a surprise but it didn't 100% succeed. Haha.

19.11.2009 until 9.12.2009 I had my STPM. So I didn't really hang out with my family or friends.

Well,right after my STPM ends,I did a lot of things.

         December

         I overnight at my cousin's house for a few days from 18.12.2009 until 20.12.2009.

was playing with my niece at my cousin's house

buying ingredients to make sushi! :P

was hanging out in the playground with my nieces ^^

        24.12.2009 Christmas eve,just had dinner with my family and hung out at Seawind.

         26.12.2009 First time fetch Jia Yun myself and hung out at LG and my house.

         31.12.2009 New year BBQ at my uncle's house

         First time BBQ myself and first time got drunk! Woohoo!

 Yea,celebrated my mum's birthday again.

      Oh well,that was how my 2009 went. It was a great year. Thank God for everything I had.

      Anyway,I look forward to 2010. I hope it will be a great year too. Thank God for everything. Happy new year!

Guilty

         Well,since STPM is over,I am so free now.

        I want this moment to be a very productive moment. I want to live it to the fullest. I want to do a lot of things.

       First,I went for a camp. It was a Buddhist Children Camp. We were supposed to take care of around 150 little children. It was on Thursday,the day after my STPM. I thought I might want to do something meaningful and I wanted to be helpful,so I joined the camp. Plus,I've never joined any camp before. I thought this might be a good experience.

     Thursday,when I just went to the camp, it wasn't like how I was expected.

     Seriously,the camp was too strict. They were going to take away our handphones as they say no handphones are allowed. Some members there told me,if they realised anyone didn't hand up their handphone,there will be a spot check for everyone.

    I was like,are you kidding me? I'm just finished my strict life in school. Now you're telling me I'm going to live this kind of life..AGAIN?

     That was not all. I felt very uncomfortable there. So,I called my mother and asked her to fetch me back earlier,I couldn't live this kind of life. It was too strict. I thought if I felt uncomfortable,why should I continue it? I wanted to enjoy in this camp,but I couldn't. What's the point of continuing it?

    Actually,some of the talks are nice. I learned something too. The Shi Fu there taught some meaningful lessons. It was quite nice. But most of the time I wasn't feeling good. Plus, it was too tiring.

   But,deep inside my heart, I felt very guilty. I was the one who said that I'd want to help out in the camp. But I was the one to quit the camp earlier too. I know I am being irresponsible. I felt to guilty for them. Also for my friend Monique too,cause I couldn't accompany her till the last day of the camp. I was the one who asked her if she was interested to go for the camp and she went with me. But I left her there alone.

    I'm so sorry to everyone of you. I just couldn't continue it.

   We did a lot of prayer there. We prayed to Buddha all the time for hours. When ones is praying,he or she should concentrate on it and fully believe in it. But deep inside my heart, I couldn't concentrate,cause I was doubting about myself, do I believe in this? I know I didn't totally believe in it. I am sorry. So, it is meaningless to pray if you do not believe in it.

   I am still finding the religion that I could totally believe in it. I believe there is God. But,who is God? Is it Jehovah who sent Jesus to save us? Or is it Buddha who figured out about live,old,sick,death(in chinese)? Or who is it? It's still remain a doubt in my heart. I will continue to figure it out.

   Once again,I'm sorry that I quit earlier in the camp.

Finally...

9th of Dec 2009

         Finally,this day has come. I thought it will never come. I thought it will be like forever. But just for a while,this day has come.

        Yes,this is the last day of my STPM. 4pm! I felt so excited. I felt like wanna scream out loud. But I couldn't. Cause we were in the exam hall. It was great! I felt so relieved. It's like a big rock has drop from my back. Quickly, I walked out of the school and got into the car and went home feeling happily.

        Well,you guys will never guess what was the first thing I did when I reached home.

      What was it?

     My beloved dog gave me a present!!! What was it??

    His vomit!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    So the first thing I saw when I open the door was his vomit!!! The first thing I did when I reached home is to clean up his vomit!!!!!!! -.- Stupid dog! What a good present for his master!

    Then,I quickly help my mother to clean up the house. Then,I went to have steamboat with my friends in "Huo Guo Zi Jia" (House of Steamboat) lol. Then we went to watch a movie. (Couple Retreat)

       I just felt to great. When I reached home,it was 2 something already. I cleaned my room until 5 something. Cause I will be going to a camp on the next day till Sunday. I want to have a great rest in a clean room when I reach home on Sunday. And guess what again? I slept at 5 something around 6am.

    Suddenly,my mom woke me up,it was 7 something.

   "Snoopy shit in your room!!!!!!!!!"

   Thanks to my stupid dog. I slept for like 2 hours and I had to wake up to clean his shit! -.-

   This dog gave me 2 presents for finishing my STPM within 24 hours. I didn't know whether to thank him or beat him! If he does the same thing next time,I guess you guys will have dog meat BBQ to eat next time!

   Anyway,I feel so happy that STPM is over. Well,that was how my form6 life ends. No more school uniform. No more going to class. Wow....Will I be seeing my form6 friends again? Oh well.....I'd like to take this opportunity to wish them all the best in their future! No matter what you do,just do your best! :)

   And I'd like to scream

     I AM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! WOOOOO HOOOOOO!!! :D :D

What was that?

30th November 2009

          It was around 10pm and I was tired already. But I haven't study for the economy test for Monday. So,I set my alarm to 12am and had a nap.

         The alarm rang. It was 12am already. I turned off the alarm and continue to sleep.

         Suddenly,I felt my head was stuck to the right side. I couldn't move my head. It was like something keep pushing my head from the left. I couldn't turn my head to center or left side. It was very painful.

          This went on for quite some time. I tried very hard to get up but I couldn't. I wanted to get up from the bed and ask my mother to help me. But I couldn't get down of the bed. I had no energy in me. I didn't know why. I've tried to hard but I just couldn't move. I even tried to turn my head, the more I tried,the more it hurt. Tears even flowed out of my eyes. It was very painful. I had no way to get over it no matter how hard I try.

        Then, I thought of an idea. I prayed. I prayed to God. I said "Dear God,I'm in pain,please let me get over this. I cannot hold any longer." (in hokkien)

       Suddenly,I was awake! I was shocked to realise that it was a dream. But how could it be so real? My body position was exactly the same in the dream.  Was that actually a dream? How come everything was so real?

        It's just too real! And I wondered how come just I finished praying and I was awake already? Was that a coincident? Or was God actually helping me? Or God is trying to give me a hint? What was that all about?

       Am I thinking too much? But it's just impossible for me to let it go without thinking of anything. I cannot forget the moment I was in pain.

       I've heard about people saying about this. They say that "something" is disturbing you. It's called "鬼压床" in Chinese. But I don't really believe it. Cause I was in my own house. If I was in a hotel room or any other place, I might believe it.  My house safe as far as I know.

      Some people said that this happens when we're too tired or stressed. Well, that can be true. But I was not really worried about anything serious. Just some minor stuff like the exams and so on.

     Well,even if I was very tired and stressed, why I could wake up just at the time I finished praying.What was that all about?Was God really helping me? Or it was just a coincident?

     It's still a doubt in my mind....

                       Anyway, Thank God I was awake at last.....

Untitled

Worthy is the lamb

Thank you for the cross Lord
Thank you for the price You paid

Bearing all my sin and shame
In love You came
And gave amazing grace

Thank you for this love Lord
Thank you for the nail pierced hands
Washed me in Your cleansing flow
Now all I know
Your forgiveness and embrace

Chorus:
Worthy is the Lamb
Seated on the throne
Crown You now with many crowns
You reign victorious
High and lifted up
Jesus Son of God
The Darling of Heaven crucified
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Lamb

    Everytime I listen to this song,I have this sad feeling.It has been 2 and a half year now,time does fly.We sang this song during your funeral.Everyone was crying.So,everytime we listen to this song,I imagine what we have been through.

    After I've lost you,I only feel that I actually miss you.What a fool am I.You will only appreciate something after you lose it.I think that's true.You make me understand the importance of family.I have never felt this way before.I've never lost someone that is so close to me.

    Everything that we did,all the scene,all the thoughts and everything about you have became memories that can only be played in my head.The memories that I cannot make it happen again in my real life.

    I know we should accept what happens to us,I know we cannot change what has happened.But I just cannot accept the truth that you're gone forever in my life.I just cannot accept the truth that I cannot see you anymore.I cannot accept the truth that I cannot talk to you anymore.And I cannot accept the truth that I cannot do what I wanted to do for you.

      I still miss you. My tears still flow everytime I think of you. Sometimes before I sleep I will think of you. Wondering how are you doing now.

     Thank you very much for everything.Thank you for the loves and cares.Please forgive me if I did anything wrong.I love you and I miss you.

Will miss you always,Ji Ee.

One more priority in life....Michael Jackson...

      Sometimes we tend to feel regret of what we have done. I know that feeling regret over things that happened won't turn back time. What matters is we don't repeat the same mistake again in the future.

         I was a very huge fan of Avril Lavigne since 2004. I love her very much that no words could ever describe. You wouldn't believe what I did.

            I can be happy or sad for her news. For example, when I realised that she got married with Deryck from Sum41 which I don't like him at all, I cried to sleep because I couldn't accept the fact.

           I bought all of her original albums with my own money.

           I quarreled with my brother because of her. He insulted her really badly and I got crazy and cried and shouted at him. Even my parents got shocked that I acted this way.

         I watched a horror film and got scared and I hold her album to sleep at night and I felt that I'm safe.

         I listened to her songs ONLY everyday. Not other singers,cause I wanted to be a faithful fan.

         I got her posters all over my wall.

         I light up a candle and talked to her(imagining) on her birthday.

        I learn to draw her.

        I'd do anything for her.

        There are a lot of crazy stuffs I did for her. I really obsessed with her. I was so crazy. I was really a freak. Thank God that was few years back then.

       Soon, in 2007,one of my beloved aunty passed away. I was very sad. I was really very down at that moment. The day she passed away was like the darkest day of my life. I cried a lot. I felt that I didn't spend much time with her and she passed away so soon. I started to feel regret. Although I did visit her time to time,but I think I don't spend enough time with her. How much time is enough? I don't know. If I knew that she was going to passed away, I will visit her more often, maybe I could talk to her more. 

      I really felt the sadness inside. I realised family is very important. Losing something really makes you appreciate it more. From that time onwards, I knew I was really crazy.

      What for loving someone that doesn't even know who are you so much?

      What for spending your time searching stuff about her when she wouldn't even know if you die?

       That was what I thought to myself. How could I be so blind? Why don't I use all those time and energy to give the love to all the people I know? From that time, my aunty's death really taught me a valuable lesson. That is to spend more time with your loved ones. Not to someone that doesn't know you.

        Since then, I spend more time with my family and talk to them. I really love my family. They are so wonderful. They are really very nice to me. I really thank God for having such great family. My family is one of my most valuable assets. Since my aunty passed away, we have this family dinner every Sunday at my house. I look forward to Sunday every week. So I could spend more time with my family. Especially my neices. They are very cute and loving.

        I swear to myself,to love someone that they know and care about us. So I promised myself never be crazy or obsessed about any famous artiste anymore. Because they don't worth it. They don't even know me. And what is so great about them? They just can sing great songs. That's all. It's not like they could fly.

        So now, even if I like some songs,I will just keep listening to those songs. I won't go crazy over the artiste like I did to Avril. What I did for Avril was abnormal.

    

         Now here comes the mainpoint for me of writing this blog.

         Everything was great. Until this year,2009, I received a news that Michael Jackson passed away. First, I thought, aw,that's a sad news. And I thought it's none of my business.

       Televisions were showing all his programmes. News,live,music videos,interviews and stuffs. Radios kept playing his songs. Suddenly, I realised a few of his songs were really great. I used to listen to "Earth Song" and "Heal The World" only. I never go and search what kind of great songs he had. But, I realised,he was more than those two songs. He had a lot of great hits!

       So,I search on YouTube for his songs. On the other hand,I watched some interviews of his too. There were rumours saying that he was a child molester. I didn't care much about those stuff. Cause I thought it was none of my business. I used to think he was kinda weird. I was like "what's up with the plastic surgeries?" That's all. I never think much about him. Never bother about him or even to get to know him.

      But when I watched videos about him on YouTube. I learned a lot of things about him. That is Michael Jackson!
      He was such a great dancer!
      His songs are really great!
      He did a lot of charity! He is so loving!
      He always spend time with children and play with them. I remember watching videos of him playing with little children in Neverland. He was so cute and innocent with those children. Running around,playing and joking with them. He really touched my heart. And there were videos where he visited sick children in hospital.

       How many artistes do that? I didn't know Michael Jackson was such a great guy. And I realised people are just accusing him that they molested their children so they could get money from him.

       He was really humble too. He loved his fans. He would hug his fans and this three sentences are always to be said to his fans. "Thank You." "I Love You" and "God Bess You".

       How many great artistes do such things like he did?
       How many great artiste actually donate 300million dollar to the charity?
       How many artiste build up a big beautiful house for children to play inside?
       How many artiste be so humble and so kind to their fans?
      How many artiste are so talented and created such great songs? How many artiste could dance so well?

       I think the answer is one. That is Michael Jackson. He is a legend. He is famous already. I don't need to elaborate how famous he is. Ask my little niece that is 6 years old she knows who is Michael Jackson and she can sing "Heal The World".

      So,now, I can't help myself from falling in love with him. He is perfect. He is too great. I know he doesn't know me and I shouldn't spend time on artiste. But I couldn't resist? What should I do? I really like him. He is really a great man. No words ever can be used to describe him as he is too great,excellent,amazing....He is more than that.

        I had stop the habit of OVER loving artiste already. But now, Michael Jackson had made me fall for him. Fall for an artiste again. But I know he worth it. He will be the number one artiste forever in my heart.

        If only I learn about him earlier. And if only I used all my time,energy and love that I to Avril,gave to him instead. I would have been a better person during my teenage years. As Michael taught us a lot of great values. But it's never too late to learn. I am a good person now. ( I hope...hehe)

        Once again,ending this post with how I started it. Regretting about something won't turn back time. But I still hope that I should spend my time on Michael Jackson instead of Avril Lavigne last time. Of course my family is still the first priority in my life.

       I am sorry that I just learn about you after you passed away. I won't say that hope you rest in peace. Cause I know that you are resting in peace now. Having great time in heaven. The world is too cruel to you. It's okay. You have great fans there will always remember what you did for us.

 I love you Michael Jackson. You are a beautiful guy.

        I won't be so crazy like I used to be anymore. I've grown up now,not an immature girl like I used to be anymore. I know how to manage what's more important in life. I used to have my family and friends and myself as my priority in life. Now I have one more,which is Michael Jackson.

     I know he has passed away already. But what important is the message that he tried to tell us. That is to make this world a better place. I will try my best to fulfill your dream Michael. You have done your very best.

Thank you so much for everything that you did for this world. This world has became a better place because of you.