What is love?
This is a frequent asked question by mankind, and yet there is no definite answer for it. People has been talking about it and giving their own definition for it.
Love is blind.
Love is beautiful.
Love is the answer.
Love will keep us alive.
True love never dies.
And so on....
I've been experiencing love since I was young. Family love. It is a very simple love, and can be easily understood. My parents love me, and I love my parents. Reasons? Because I am their child. They are the one who raised me up. I am who I am today all because of them. I love my family and relatives. Reasons? Because we are connected, we are related with one another. If I were a stranger to them, we wouldn't be loving each other at all. Love in family is simple, and easy to understand why we love each other.
Lately, I've experienced different kind of love. This love is much more complicated than family's love, and it could not be understood easily. How could I love someone that is not related to me so deep? He is not my family member, or someone who is with me since I was young. He was a stranger, then a friend, and slowly became someone I love. The feeling of this kind of love is difficult. You want to know more about him, you care for him, and maybe you care too much, and you would sacrifice your time just for him. Love, is when the things he does would affect your mood completely, because you just care too much.
Since I've been experiencing this love, I feel like I am not the person who I used to know. It can be said in two ways, I do not know who I am anymore, or I have understood myself more. I have learned a few traits in me.
Time
I realized that I like to stick to my partner. I agree that we should have our own space, our own time with our family, friends, and also time for ourselves. But I do not know why, I'm just too keen to spend most of my time with my mate. I know this could be annoying. I have to change, I have to balance my time well with all my close friends and family.
Thinking
I know we should control our thinking, instead of letting our thinking to control us. It is a fact that cannot be denied that women likes to think. We think about all the negative situation, no matter it is true or not. I don't want to like that. But sometimes, it seem like I can't help myself from acting this way. But one thing guys should know is that, your woman is acting this way because of the you guys had done something, that makes the women act this way. There is no woman who suspects their man if the man doesn't do anything suspicious. (I am not saying I'm facing this case)
Jealousy
Actually, I am not a person who gets jealous easily. I am okay if my mate mixes around with his female friends, as long as I know I am the one he loves. It's okay to have a few good friends of the opposite sex. But sometimes, I just can't help myself from comparing his love to me now, with his love to the girl he used to love in the past. I just afraid that he doesn't love me as much as the girl he used to love. Jealousy kills.
Perfectionist
I realized that I am a perfectionist when it comes to love. I hunger for a perfect love. It's not that I want my partner to be perfect, but I want our love to be perfect. I want this love to be perfect before it starts, and I hope that there is no end in this love. This has become my weakness. I make myself suffer in agony, when things are not perfect as the way I want it to be. I just want my mate to pay more attention to me, perhaps view my profile daily, read my blogs, or try to understand my past well. I hope he has the initiative and interest to do that, without me asking him to do. It's because that's what I do to my mate. I hope he does the same to me too.
Is it too much that I'm asking for?
I'm sorry.
I also just realized that...
我的心胸不够阔...
我很想放下...
