Sometimes we tend to feel regret of what we have done. I know that feeling regret over things that happened won't turn back time. What matters is we don't repeat the same mistake again in the future.
I was a very huge fan of Avril Lavigne since 2004. I love her very much that no words could ever describe. You wouldn't believe what I did.
I can be happy or sad for her news. For example, when I realised that she got married with Deryck from Sum41 which I don't like him at all, I cried to sleep because I couldn't accept the fact.
I bought all of her original albums with my own money.
I quarreled with my brother because of her. He insulted her really badly and I got crazy and cried and shouted at him. Even my parents got shocked that I acted this way.
I watched a horror film and got scared and I hold her album to sleep at night and I felt that I'm safe.
I listened to her songs ONLY everyday. Not other singers,cause I wanted to be a faithful fan.
I got her posters all over my wall.
I light up a candle and talked to her(imagining) on her birthday.
I learn to draw her.
I'd do anything for her.
There are a lot of crazy stuffs I did for her. I really obsessed with her. I was so crazy. I was really a freak. Thank God that was few years back then.
Soon, in 2007,one of my beloved aunty passed away. I was very sad. I was really very down at that moment. The day she passed away was like the darkest day of my life. I cried a lot. I felt that I didn't spend much time with her and she passed away so soon. I started to feel regret. Although I did visit her time to time,but I think I don't spend enough time with her. How much time is enough? I don't know. If I knew that she was going to passed away, I will visit her more often, maybe I could talk to her more.
I really felt the sadness inside. I realised family is very important. Losing something really makes you appreciate it more. From that time onwards, I knew I was really crazy.
What for loving someone that doesn't even know who are you so much?
What for spending your time searching stuff about her when she wouldn't even know if you die?
That was what I thought to myself. How could I be so blind? Why don't I use all those time and energy to give the love to all the people I know? From that time, my aunty's death really taught me a valuable lesson. That is to spend more time with your loved ones. Not to someone that doesn't know you.
Since then, I spend more time with my family and talk to them. I really love my family. They are so wonderful. They are really very nice to me. I really thank God for having such great family. My family is one of my most valuable assets. Since my aunty passed away, we have this family dinner every Sunday at my house. I look forward to Sunday every week. So I could spend more time with my family. Especially my neices. They are very cute and loving.
I swear to myself,to love someone that they know and care about us. So I promised myself never be crazy or obsessed about any famous artiste anymore. Because they don't worth it. They don't even know me. And what is so great about them? They just can sing great songs. That's all. It's not like they could fly.
So now, even if I like some songs,I will just keep listening to those songs. I won't go crazy over the artiste like I did to Avril. What I did for Avril was abnormal.
Now here comes the mainpoint for me of writing this blog.
Everything was great. Until this year,2009, I received a news that Michael Jackson passed away. First, I thought, aw,that's a sad news. And I thought it's none of my business.
Televisions were showing all his programmes. News,live,music videos,interviews and stuffs. Radios kept playing his songs. Suddenly, I realised a few of his songs were really great. I used to listen to "Earth Song" and "Heal The World" only. I never go and search what kind of great songs he had. But, I realised,he was more than those two songs. He had a lot of great hits!
So,I search on YouTube for his songs. On the other hand,I watched some interviews of his too. There were rumours saying that he was a child molester. I didn't care much about those stuff. Cause I thought it was none of my business. I used to think he was kinda weird. I was like "what's up with the plastic surgeries?" That's all. I never think much about him. Never bother about him or even to get to know him.
But when I watched videos about him on YouTube. I learned a lot of things about him. That is Michael Jackson!
He was such a great dancer!
His songs are really great!
He did a lot of charity! He is so loving!
He always spend time with children and play with them. I remember watching videos of him playing with little children in Neverland. He was so cute and innocent with those children. Running around,playing and joking with them. He really touched my heart. And there were videos where he visited sick children in hospital.
How many artistes do that? I didn't know Michael Jackson was such a great guy. And I realised people are just accusing him that they molested their children so they could get money from him.
He was really humble too. He loved his fans. He would hug his fans and this three sentences are always to be said to his fans. "Thank You." "I Love You" and "God Bess You".
How many great artistes do such things like he did?
How many great artiste actually donate 300million dollar to the charity?
How many artiste build up a big beautiful house for children to play inside?
How many artiste be so humble and so kind to their fans?
How many artiste are so talented and created such great songs? How many artiste could dance so well?
I think the answer is one. That is Michael Jackson. He is a legend. He is famous already. I don't need to elaborate how famous he is. Ask my little niece that is 6 years old she knows who is Michael Jackson and she can sing "Heal The World".
So,now, I can't help myself from falling in love with him. He is perfect. He is too great. I know he doesn't know me and I shouldn't spend time on artiste. But I couldn't resist? What should I do? I really like him. He is really a great man. No words ever can be used to describe him as he is too great,excellent,amazing....He is more than that.
I had stop the habit of OVER loving artiste already. But now, Michael Jackson had made me fall for him. Fall for an artiste again. But I know he worth it. He will be the number one artiste forever in my heart.
If only I learn about him earlier. And if only I used all my time,energy and love that I to Avril,gave to him instead. I would have been a better person during my teenage years. As Michael taught us a lot of great values. But it's never too late to learn. I am a good person now. ( I hope...hehe)
Once again,ending this post with how I started it. Regretting about something won't turn back time. But I still hope that I should spend my time on Michael Jackson instead of Avril Lavigne last time. Of course my family is still the first priority in my life.
I am sorry that I just learn about you after you passed away. I won't say that hope you rest in peace. Cause I know that you are resting in peace now. Having great time in heaven. The world is too cruel to you. It's okay. You have great fans there will always remember what you did for us.
I love you Michael Jackson. You are a beautiful guy.
I won't be so crazy like I used to be anymore. I've grown up now,not an immature girl like I used to be anymore. I know how to manage what's more important in life. I used to have my family and friends and myself as my priority in life. Now I have one more,which is Michael Jackson.
I know he has passed away already. But what important is the message that he tried to tell us. That is to make this world a better place. I will try my best to fulfill your dream Michael. You have done your very best.
Thank you so much for everything that you did for this world. This world has became a better place because of you.
