It's time to change skin....

           I'm back in UPM for one week already. I realised I've used a bundle of toilet roll in just one week! My flu is with me for one month already! I wonder when do you want to leave me? Because of you I've wasted so much tissues. You make me a non environmental friendly person! How could you! So I've decided that I will go to the clinic tomorrow. I'm sorry Flu, but I just hate you. I want to get rid of you.

         Anyway, the reason I'm writing this blog is not because I want to talk about flu. I want to talk about myself. Yes, myself, I'm a self-centered person. Hahaaha, just kidding. Okay. It's time to change skin? What kind of title is that? Hahaha. Okay, what I mean is, my old skin which is the old me is dead. I got hurt and crazy until the old me died. I killed my old self. So, now my new skin is the new me.

          I've been wasting a lot of time for the past few days. Wasting a lot of time online, wasting time waiting, wasting time thinking and confusing. I'm sick and tired of me being like this. It's like I have no life at all. That was how I killed my old me.

        So now, for the sake of my health and my hair and my face, I don't want to think so much anymore. (Think so much that I become not healthy, that my hair become grey and my face wrinkled lol)

        Seriously, I've thought of giving up. Because I did not know what to do. I kept thinking that "I'm not good enough, I do not deserve it" Well, I still think so now. But let me give myself a break instead of thinking all this and wasting my time doing all that.

       From now on, I want to be a better person and enjoy my life in my University. They say University life is the best time of your life. But I couldn't feel that now. Why!!!!??? So now it's time to explore instead of suffering in depression. ^^

        So, I have to think positively and take thing easily. Honestly, I don't know what should I do. But whatever worst happens, it's not the end of the world yet right? Yeah, that's it!!! I will leave everything to fate!

          I am not good enough, but still I will continue to be who I am or what I'm comfortable to be like. I will not change myself for someone else unless that someone really worth it, or I will change for the sake of myself. If that person doesn't give a damn about me, then fine. I'm not gonna act like I'm a really nice girl and hope that someone will notice me all of a sudden and come to me. In other words, I don't want to live in a dream.

        But still, deep inside my heart asks my brain "How long will I be waiting?"

        My brain says "I don't know, heart."

        Heart "I doubt if I could go on.... You know, I'm not Celine Dion, her heart will go on, but I don't know about myself."

        Brain "Stop asking already, I want to study Agriculture and Spanish. Tests are coming up. And you, please, stop thinking already, you have a life, you job is to encourage me to study hard."

       A short conversation between my heart and my brain. Hahahaha.

       Good night.